Battle: Los Angeles

Who bought it?: Max.

Why?:  Because this was our first date movie.

Non-Buyer’s Response: What were we thinking?

Max’s Thoughts:

Here’s what I was thinking: This is a bad movie that won’t be boring or sad but ultimately won’t be able to hold our interest and maybe we might kiss. It had worked for me before. It didn’t work here. At least not in the actual movie theatre. Megan has a silly rule about paying for movies and paying attention.

So Battle: Los Angeles is an interesting movie, but not a good one. I can almost see an attempt at a franchise here, a multi-film arc telling the story of the world fighting off this alien invasion. At the end of Battle: LA, the American Army figures out how to kill the aliens, so in subsequent films (Battle: Tokyo, Battle: New York City, Battle: Paris, etc.)  we’d see other cities and other nations fighting and using the intel collected by Aaron Eckhart, Ne-Yo and Michelle Rodriguez in the first film. That obviously didn’t happen. This movie bombed completely and signaled a shift in how willing we were to pay to see Aaron Eckhart in stuff.

It was one of those film that made you realize how important that “movie formula” everyone professes to hate actually is to your viewing experience. There’s a certain structure, a certain way things have played out over the course of 1,000’s of movies, and therefore a certain way that the audience needs things to play out to feel like they’ve seen a movie. Battle: LA misses the beats all over the place. The first act was over in a flash and the second act seemed to occupy 90% of the movie’s run time. When major beats like that are missed, audiences feel something is bad about the movie, even if they can’t put their finger on it. Or at least I do. I almost fell asleep. There were some good visuals along the way. That’s about all I can say about it. Can’t wait till we get to District 9 so I can watch a really good alien flick.

The best visuals had a noted lack of Eckhart.

Obviously we have to keep it because it’s a sentimental favourite. And because somehow, someway, Michelle Rodriguez survives this entire movie, which is a rarity. She’s basically a female Sean Bean and she made it through a movie where half of the team dies in a single chopper accident like 30 minutes in. Good for her.

In a show where everyone was already dead, she still dies.

Megan’s Thoughts:

Dear god this is a horrible movie. I forgot how bad it was, probably because the first time I saw it, I was so excited/nervous to finally be on a date with Max that I didn’t notice. I chose the dinner spot, he chose the movie.

I’m a big Aaron Eckhart fan, and I don’t mind a good alien flick now and then. But Men in Black is more my style, this was closer to a war movie. And I’m not a fan of war movies. I get sad and anxious and frustrated. And Battle: Los Angeles is two hours of explosions and shaky camera. I had to close my eyes a couple times to stave off motion sickness. And frankly, it had some pretty ridiculous lines.

My favourite:

“Maybe I can help. I’m a veterinarian.”
(While the doctor is literally standing right behind Aaron Eckhart.)

However, I can’t deny that this movie will always resonate with me and I’ll keep it forever. I think Max chose it because he thought I might ignore my “DO NOT DISTRACT ME WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE” rule. I made it very clear before we went in that I am not the type to sit at the back and make out or whisper sweet nothings in your ear. If I pay to go to the movies, I’m going to watch the movie. Granted, given my previous statement of not remembering how much I disliked it, maybe I wasn’t paying as much attention as I set out to.

Verdict: Keep it.

The Back To The Future Trilogy

A Note from Megan & Max:

It’s been a long time. We shouldn’t have left you without a strong post to step to…We know we’ve dropped this project for a while, but it’s been with good reason. We moved in June and our DVD’s were boxed up for a good while. Then…well we simply couldn’t find time. We’ve received a flattering number of requests for more, so after much cajoling from both sides, we finally got back on the horse. 

Now, why couldn’t we find time? We moved right as the order of The DVD Purge Project took us to the first of our trilogy collections. So we weren’t just finding time for one movie, but three. What trilogy, you ask, imaginary reader?

Who Bought It?: MEGAN!

Why?: GREAT SCOTT!

Non-Buyer’s Response: No criticism from me. This right here is a classic.

Megan’s Thoughts: Back to the Future might be my favourite trilogy of all time. It’s got action, adventure, comedy, romance, science fiction, mystery…what more could you ask for?

I feel those feels, Marty.

I just love Back to the Future. I believe most great movies were made in the 80’s and early 90’s. Movies that gave me unrealistic expectations for my first kiss and unrealistic expectations for my high school experience. I can’t even properly analyze the structure or comment on the special effects (though, so impressed for what they were able to do in the 80’s) because I just have a big shit-eating grin on my face and a spring in my step after watching these three.

I have noticed that I’m most likely to comment, remember or quote the second one, when they go to the future. It’s probably because the first and third are set in the past, and therefore I can’t “look forward” to them. I mean, as of next year, it will be the “future” that Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale created. That’s heavy.

This is how we’re supposed to dress next year.

So sign me up for a hoverboard and shoes that tighten themselves and flying cars, this is a big time keep it for me. And when I have kids, and they watch this movie, they too will become huge Michael J. Fox fans, they too will quote Doc Brown, and we’ll be able to point and laugh at the screen at what Zemeckis and Gale thought 2015 looked like. And it will be glorious.

Max’s Thoughts: So every now and again we’ll get to a movie that we obviously are going to keep. For all the stupid comedies and rom-com’s Megan bought because they were super-cheap, we do still own a few classics. Back to the Future is one of them. The first two movies in the trilogy are damn near perfect, and the third one falls just short of that. Whatever drug Steven Spielberg and his friends were on from 1977 (A New Hope) to 1993 (Jurassic Park) were, I want some of it. Unless it was just cocaine (which it probably was). It’s hard to analyze movie structure over the course of a trilogy, but individually, each Back to the Future is a master class on how to write a movie.

The stunning part for me, since I’d never actually seen the first or second movie (sue me), is just how well planned the time-travel elements are across the whole trilogy. There are things foreshadowed in the first film that don’t pay off until the third. Everything folds back in on itself temporally and everything from each movie matters in each other movie. There’s something about watching a time-travel plot unfold and never questioning how they deal with its effects on existence because it’s so well planned out that nearly makes me weep with joy. Like Futurama’s forwards-only time machine in The Late Phillip J. Fry, this trilogy is simply perfect.

No gifs from me, because you’ve seen it all.

Except for maybe this one.

Verdict: KEEP.